So here I am, sitting here on this last night of the Year 13, waiting for my friends to show up, ready to hit the streets of the Old Town and have some serious fun. It's a New Year somewhere in Asia already so it seems that I have a minute or two to write some stuff out of my hair in this last post of this Year of the Dog.I had to put my bull terrier lady to sleep two weeks ago. I'm a big bloke proud of certain emotional stability. I'm currently recovering from the worst year of my life, both personally and professionally. I've lost my best friend to cancer, and another friend hung himself for reasons known but to him. I've lost all my clients and almost wound up homeless. Still I wonder how deeply the death of a mere dog struck me.
She was a lousy dog and a great bull terrier. However confusing it may sound, those familiar with this breed know what I mean. She'd had a great life, and though she couldn't continue with her conquest of the world when a tumor on her paw effectively tied her to her chair, she'd spent the last year doing the two next best things: lying in my bed and eating all kinds of forbidden stuff she'd never dreamt of before.
I have no trouble rationalizing the whole situation. I know the time was right and to put an end to it was the best I could have done before things started to get really messy for her. But I still feel a need to justify myself - to nobody else but myself. And though I know that the 30 kilograms of void beside me will eventually shrink and disappear, and soon I will be able to look in the corner where her chair used to stand without that pain in my chest, I will always miss her deep inside of me. But the dogs who were truly loved will never be forgotten anyway. Rest in peace, Kočička.
Also I seem to have lost my blog for good. Not that I'm not willing to go on with my smart remarks on times and music of my youth. It's just that sad fact that of all those thousands former Future Vintage blog readers not more than a handful have confided in me enough to jump on my new scheme, and when I say handful, I really mean it - if I invited all the new Future Vintage members in my place, we'd be all sitting comfortably. I have to admit that it was the bitterest pill of all I had to swallow this year. Perhaps I will be able to get back in the saddle and carry on. If not, I will find a way to pay back all of those who put trust and money in this blog. You know who you are and I thank you very much for keeping the faith.
Gotta go. If you are a Future Vintage member, enjoy the two FVV compilations below. If not, have a great 2014 anyway.
Stay tuned!
